R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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