watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
