I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
