You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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