can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
