considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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