Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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