Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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