I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I could fuck to npr.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
