I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the day after is always just damage control
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My legs feel like baby dolphins
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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