I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
