I'm so fucking centered right now
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize