i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
