i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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