if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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