he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
