so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
