I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
