you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize