This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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