I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
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I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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