you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
why do cheetos always look like penises
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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