Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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