It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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