Cold hands, warm shart.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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