Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
