i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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