So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize