Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
