Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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