youre lurking in front of me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize