Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
