Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
