I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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