VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
