I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
