what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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