Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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