I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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