Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
