Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
