If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
