What did we do last night that was yellow?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
