I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
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I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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