that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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