Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
