We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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