Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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