Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
