Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
