Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
