my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
