when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize