Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish they made helmets for livers.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
