You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
