I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
