i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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