Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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