Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We are two peas in an std pod
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
