***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
now i know why i became what i already was.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
